This is so uncanny that I barely know where to start...
(I love the way he speaks,
I love the way he thinks
I love the way that he treats his momma
I love the scar on his forehead)
Sometimes when you least expect it someone great and amazing walks into your life. Sometimes you notice, but sometimes you don't. I was lucky enough to realise it a little while after he walked in, though I am sometimes afraid that this special someone is not meant to be MY special someone (too special a someone).
I believe in God for everything, I don't think I could live my life without Him being by my side, and after meeting Christ you can't go back, so if He sent me the right person already... Then I'll take that blessing.
Wisdom is the key, following what God says about the whole being with someone affaire...
I often feel like I don't deserve him, he's so... on point with God yet a modern young person, he loves my poetry and photography my topics about Africa, and he speaks an African language and named me God's rose in it. He loves to travel, and so we will travel to the end of the earth, live on our soil and protect our land, I don't mind where that is.
He won't try anything funny, waits the time of God with me, but isn't overly righteous. He's nothing like I expected yet everything I wanted.
And he is real... I have IMANI that this is UPENDI sent from Our Father above. He saw that it was good… and said so be it.
Leine xXx
Tuesday, 22 May 2007
Monday, 2 April 2007
A writer, my true calling:
(written in june 2006)
I feel somewhat trapped.
I'm in a relationship which relevance I doubt… and I have feelings for someone which genuineness I do not trust, but to break his heart like mine was once broken… it is something I cannot do, although I often wish to remain alone and give myself time to think and to be, who I want to be, without obligations... I mean didn’t Maya Angelou write an essay entitled EVEN THE STARS LOOK LONESOME SOMETIMES?
Maybe I should feel happy, who knows… maybe my inspiration to all this poetry I write is partly due to this situation...
But there’s also all my essays in writing, pushing me to believe I have a shot at being a writer... I see my name on books, one called LEINE'S COLLECTION OF POEMS and another called THE CHILDREN OF THE DIASPORA and US. Is it possible I wonder, with my mother in the way pushing me to become a lawyer? I’ve reduced myself to going towards being a legal adviser.
This situation is an inspiration too, and let’s not forget all those insightful books I read and my interest in anything to do with Africa and its descendants all over the globe.
A writer, my true calling, but first I need to collect my self, spend some time alone, stop pretending that I am part of the world others have created for me, need my dictionary and thesaurus, meet Nelson Mandela, Maya Angelou, travel to different places, taste different cultures, learn about other religions...listen to different music, a different one to the infected ones I hear everyday, the one about greed murder rape and black people’s sweetest sins: arrogance and superficiality...
Then incorporate it in many different essays, then write a novel that will include different African traditions, Ivorian first (for that will be a true tribute to my homeland) then write books all can read, to inform the masses about hidden lies that I wish to uncover...
How can aspire to be a mere legal adviser? Ok maybe at first for my funding, but then...all my life stuck in an office answering the telephone? NO, I’m a free spirit, one who looks for God, true, but one who also cares deeply about the fate of its people...in a POETICAL way. A poet, essayist, novelist, anthropologist, historian, activist...all these words to describe what I am, and want to let others see... a WRITTER.
All thanks to you my significant other. Although I feel uncertain of my love for you, I know our friendship is the best there is, and in that way I love you (I can finally say it, and mean it too!) thanks for being somewhat of a shoulder and ear for me... if only we weren’t bound by those silly "we're going out" vows! Our friendship would take us even higher, but it is hindered...like Corinne Bailey Rae once sang...ALL THESE THINGS HAPPEN.
I feel somewhat trapped.
I'm in a relationship which relevance I doubt… and I have feelings for someone which genuineness I do not trust, but to break his heart like mine was once broken… it is something I cannot do, although I often wish to remain alone and give myself time to think and to be, who I want to be, without obligations... I mean didn’t Maya Angelou write an essay entitled EVEN THE STARS LOOK LONESOME SOMETIMES?
Maybe I should feel happy, who knows… maybe my inspiration to all this poetry I write is partly due to this situation...
But there’s also all my essays in writing, pushing me to believe I have a shot at being a writer... I see my name on books, one called LEINE'S COLLECTION OF POEMS and another called THE CHILDREN OF THE DIASPORA and US. Is it possible I wonder, with my mother in the way pushing me to become a lawyer? I’ve reduced myself to going towards being a legal adviser.
This situation is an inspiration too, and let’s not forget all those insightful books I read and my interest in anything to do with Africa and its descendants all over the globe.
A writer, my true calling, but first I need to collect my self, spend some time alone, stop pretending that I am part of the world others have created for me, need my dictionary and thesaurus, meet Nelson Mandela, Maya Angelou, travel to different places, taste different cultures, learn about other religions...listen to different music, a different one to the infected ones I hear everyday, the one about greed murder rape and black people’s sweetest sins: arrogance and superficiality...
Then incorporate it in many different essays, then write a novel that will include different African traditions, Ivorian first (for that will be a true tribute to my homeland) then write books all can read, to inform the masses about hidden lies that I wish to uncover...
How can aspire to be a mere legal adviser? Ok maybe at first for my funding, but then...all my life stuck in an office answering the telephone? NO, I’m a free spirit, one who looks for God, true, but one who also cares deeply about the fate of its people...in a POETICAL way. A poet, essayist, novelist, anthropologist, historian, activist...all these words to describe what I am, and want to let others see... a WRITTER.
All thanks to you my significant other. Although I feel uncertain of my love for you, I know our friendship is the best there is, and in that way I love you (I can finally say it, and mean it too!) thanks for being somewhat of a shoulder and ear for me... if only we weren’t bound by those silly "we're going out" vows! Our friendship would take us even higher, but it is hindered...like Corinne Bailey Rae once sang...ALL THESE THINGS HAPPEN.
Monday, 22 January 2007
Afro kinky
(This is an extract from an email I sent my best friend in France)
My latest pondering is on NATURAL HAIR so I’ve decided not to relaxed my hair anymore and keep it natural, that's a beautiful way to reconnect with myself, and how God created me, mammy said it's hard to manage but she's letting me do it, she even agreed to let me cut it!!! Can you believe it? But that's a bit extreme; I’ll just braid it until it grows back. I really believe in having my hair natural, people tell me it's not nice etc... but I see what hair relaxers do to us and I’m ready to go natural (there are plenty of hairstyle I can do with ma natural hair, more than what I can do with ma relaxed hair right now) ... ANYWAY (...) I want locks!!!! yep like you wanted a while ago and I was like "what is she on, she crazy!!" well now I crave them, but I know it's a big no no by ma mum, and church (the French one) but I found out that having dreadlocks don't mean you’re a Rasta it's just a hairstyle, they (Rastafarians) have locks because they don't do ANYTHING to their hair except wash them (organic dreadlocks), that's why it's weird long and big and seems dirty... in my Zimbabwean church they'd let me do it without fuss, they know appearance is just that... appearance, but right now I’m tied.
I’d be content with twists once again... with my own hair this time!!!... I’m ok because I found this site: http://naturalfreedomjourney.com (Go through it all when u can.)
Its only natural that someone who decides to go natural, also uses natural hair product, eats healthy etc… well I haven’t been eating healthy yet, but I am wiser in my choice of hair product. I’m definitely going on natural, not only because it goes with all I believe in but also because it’s healthy and it makes sense, if we say black and proud and while always denying what makes us of african descent… what’s the point? I’m glad I’ve never bleached my skin, because there’s no turning point with bleaching, I'm also glad i do not wear contact lenses to have a different eye colour.
Gosh… I can’t wait, I am aware that it will be hard but I’m sure I’ll make it through, I want it desperately, and face it, my hair will never looked like those models and singers actresses on TV, might as well have it natural. If I want it straight, I’ll go to the hairdressers and use a hot iron, no longer putting no chemical in my hair…no no no and NO.
PS I have nothing against people who do relax their hair... it's a personal choice and not everyone believes in what I believe... TO EACH HIS OWN.
My latest pondering is on NATURAL HAIR so I’ve decided not to relaxed my hair anymore and keep it natural, that's a beautiful way to reconnect with myself, and how God created me, mammy said it's hard to manage but she's letting me do it, she even agreed to let me cut it!!! Can you believe it? But that's a bit extreme; I’ll just braid it until it grows back. I really believe in having my hair natural, people tell me it's not nice etc... but I see what hair relaxers do to us and I’m ready to go natural (there are plenty of hairstyle I can do with ma natural hair, more than what I can do with ma relaxed hair right now) ... ANYWAY (...) I want locks!!!! yep like you wanted a while ago and I was like "what is she on, she crazy!!" well now I crave them, but I know it's a big no no by ma mum, and church (the French one) but I found out that having dreadlocks don't mean you’re a Rasta it's just a hairstyle, they (Rastafarians) have locks because they don't do ANYTHING to their hair except wash them (organic dreadlocks), that's why it's weird long and big and seems dirty... in my Zimbabwean church they'd let me do it without fuss, they know appearance is just that... appearance, but right now I’m tied.
I’d be content with twists once again... with my own hair this time!!!... I’m ok because I found this site: http://naturalfreedomjourney.com (Go through it all when u can.)
Its only natural that someone who decides to go natural, also uses natural hair product, eats healthy etc… well I haven’t been eating healthy yet, but I am wiser in my choice of hair product. I’m definitely going on natural, not only because it goes with all I believe in but also because it’s healthy and it makes sense, if we say black and proud and while always denying what makes us of african descent… what’s the point? I’m glad I’ve never bleached my skin, because there’s no turning point with bleaching, I'm also glad i do not wear contact lenses to have a different eye colour.
Gosh… I can’t wait, I am aware that it will be hard but I’m sure I’ll make it through, I want it desperately, and face it, my hair will never looked like those models and singers actresses on TV, might as well have it natural. If I want it straight, I’ll go to the hairdressers and use a hot iron, no longer putting no chemical in my hair…no no no and NO.
PS I have nothing against people who do relax their hair... it's a personal choice and not everyone believes in what I believe... TO EACH HIS OWN.
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